I would definately say that life throws it's curveballs, and then life decides to throw those simple underhand floating pitches that you just can't miss. Yes I've swung at my share of curveballs and missed, and yes life has thrown those high heaters and impossible sliders, but the pitches I have hit have been worth it.
I never thought that I would ever be this enthused or this enchanted over one person, but it managed to happen and I'm very greatful for it. It's been almost 8 months now, but it only seems like 8 days. Every second feels like blissful eternity, yet every moment away is like swimming an ocean trying to return. I hope eight months turns to eight years, and then hopefully eighty years, and for once I can honestly say that she feels the same.

I have to say that I'm in this for the long run.
Not for you,
and not for me,
but for us
and where I want us to be.

It just so happens that I'm still without a band. But that hasn't given enough reason to quit and sell my drums. In fact, I'm spending about $500 on a subwoofer system. $90 for a pair of subwoofers isn't bad right? Usually I could walk to circuit city and find one subwoofer for $90 that only puts out about 300 watts. But I found a good deal on the subwoofers I just purchased. I bought two 12" subwoofers that handle 1000 watts each. So I'll have a 2000 watt subwoofer system that I'll specifically use only for my drum triggering. Great isn't it. Other than that, I don't have much to say. This last semester at school was edgy to say the least. I'm transferring to a Cal State University, and I'll have my Bachelors in Psychology in 2006. That's probably the only news that I have to share right now.

so it's been around two months or so since I've visited my own site, meaning here. In reality it hasn't seemed like very long at all. I doubt anyone will read this, simply because I haven't used this site in such a long time. Yet that might be what I want. I've never been a person to take time to hand write anything, let alone write some sort of journal. Hence the online domain in which I can write down thoughts and what not.
Down to businesss...I am still without a band. I don't know if that counts as anything important anymore. I used to think that good bands actually existed, but I'm stumbling over the discovery that I was completely wrong. I haven't been able to find a band worth my time since I started looking a couple months ago. Even the bands that only have potential won't work for me, I don't know if it's some sort of subconcious block that won't allow me to settle for less than what I consider a good band. Either way, I'm considering hanging up my shoes permanently, a possible dismantling of this area of my life; no more drums. Over the last 14 years of playing I've invested thousands of dollars trying to make my efforts justifiable, yet all in all I'm sitting here 14 years later with nothing but me, my drums, and a feeling of emptiness to which I may or may not be able to fill up. I don't know if I'll be able to pick myself up again, knowing that another few years will lead me here again.

the new semester is about to start this monday. That means 16 weeks of boredom. Or maybe not because I'm taking two or three classes that I've really wanted to take since I started college. The only horrid part of this semester will be my schedule. I only have to go on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays. But the only catch is that I have 12 hours straight on Mondays and Wednesdays. Fridays I only have to go for one class, which is only about an hour and a half in the morning.

I'm still looking for a new band. Actually there's a fairly good band that might be worth my time, and they're looking for a drummer. But I don't think I'll have enough time for them, so I'm just gonna pass on this opportunity and wait for another somewhere down the road. In the meantime, my band just played a show last Friday. Not many people liked our style of music, but that's only because this city is either for punk or for bitch metal. Who would have guessed that though, seeing how this is the hometown of Adema and Korn. I could care less about what bands are from here, but it seems like all of a sudden the music they play is the only music anyone around here likes. Maybe not though, most people might really like good music, they're just too social-minded that they don't want to be different from their friends. Again, I could care less because I know what real music is. And if nobody else can appreciate it, then that's just their mistake and not mine.

alright, the new school year begins on the 26th of this month. I thought it was going to commence on the 19th or 20th, but I found out today that I get another week off. That's great news to anyones ears as far as I'm concerned. Well my band has another show scheduled for the 16th of this month. I don't know whether or not this one will go through. My friend's band is playing the same day, and I guess he said that he'll play if we get to play the same show. That's always good when someone does that, specially with a band, because that just shows that there are people that actually like our music. So if this show does occur with us playing, it will be the first time (finally) that I get to unleash my electronic drums. It's been quite a while since I wanted to do this; October of last year. I have to find a new band, but in the mean time............I've got to prepare to kill some eardrums

finals start today, how pleasing. I could care less about the ones I have to take though. I only care about passing the classes at this point. The only class I have to worry about right now is English Literature. For all my other classes I have all the work completed (for the most part) and I've done well on all the tests (also for the most part). The English Lit. class is different however because I still have 2 papers to type for it. One is the final itself which is a take home that we recieved last thursday, and the next couple papers are journals I should have done throughout the semester. None of them are that hard though, they'll only take up some time.

semester..........almost.....over

this is one that I wrote in my English lit. class a couple weeks ago. It doesn't really have much of a meaning other than the obvious symbolism, and it's untitled as of now.

walking down a cold street, unable to see very far -
however few people line the street.
They were unprepared for the overnight change
Going through a crowded store, I cannot see -
there are too many people.
All they left was a t-shirt, too small.
So I decide to venture home -
because it's even too cold for me

finally, I have an assignment that I can handle without shedding a fear of doubt. I only have to write a 3000 word journal by this coming Tuesday, meaning I've got 3 days to finish. From Thursday of last week until Wednesday of this week, I had one 3 page paper, one 5 page paper, another 3 page paper, and a 13 page term paper due. I thankfully managed to finish all of them in time. I completely forgot about the assignment due Wednesday for one of my classes, but I did an extra credit assignment a few weeks ago that should cover it.
2 weeks left in the semester ... the final preparations begin.

writing papers has to be one of the most adrenaline-influenced experiences ever. I churned out a 5 page paper yesterday, and I'm now working on a 15 page for my sociology class. It shouldn't be too hard though, because no critical thought needs to be displayed. This is just a research and document kind of paper. I've got 29 sources, so I don't think there will be much of a problem pulling out at least 15 pages. It'll be close though, and I'm looking forward to writing this one later today.
In the mean time, I'm waiting to register for my classes. I decided that I want to be an applied psychologist, which means I'll do counceling and group counceling for families/businesses, basically whomever will hire me I'll work for. So I've FINALLY figured out what I want to do with all this school education, good for me. I'm looking for a new band whenever I've got a shot at it. I had a chance to be in a band that's being considered by Interscope and Sony, but I didn't really feel like it since they play music along the lines of Incubus (suck) and Hoobustank (double-suck). So I'll wait for a better band to come around, or maybe I'll start advertising. Either way change is on the way, and I'm only looking up from here.

so I just turned 21 on wednesday, how fun. well my band hasn't played since september so I'm considering finding a new one. I don't think I'll just quit this band right now, but I need to play music somewhere so I'll start searching soon. There's 2 and a half weeks left in school, so I've got a lot to do by then. The only class I'm concerned about is my sociology class, in which I've got a 10 to 15 page paper due on tuesday. Hopefully I can pull this one off because I've got 3 other papers due next week too.
Anyways I've made one very important decision in the past week. That one was when I decided to double major in English and Psychology. They may only be AA degrees, but they'll do just fine until I get my bachelor's degree in 2006. That sounds like a long time from now, but I remember thinking the same thing about high school, which I graduated from going on 3 years ago now.
oh well, all is cured by time. not because we want it to, but because it just does.